The title really has nothing to do with last night’s episode of the Bachelor, but they’re two great things to have on hand while you allow your mind to consume such befuddling characters. Before we go any deeper… I am not a fan… of Nick. I love the show; I can’t stand the contestant. We all know how it works: 25 single, successful individuals in a house compete for the love (read: attention) of another single, successful (usually with a history of heartbreak and poor decisions) individual. Note: successful is taken with a grain of salt… there was that one time this girl was a “free spirit”…
Let’s start out with Nick explaining to the women that he had slept with an individual who he had just “let go” (I’m assuming for poor performance). The ladies were so impressed with his decision to be honest with them, and how it shows them that he is there for the (wait for it…) RIGHT REASONS that they totally disregard the fact that a girl was in the house for a few rounds who Nick had already been with. If his choice to tell you something that was bound to get out anyway is so huge, then I can see why you’ve set your sights so high as to be contestants on a dating show.
It doesn’t stop with Nick’s great character showing through to the women; what really gets their attention is a woman I like to call, “Nanny Girl”. Her actual name is Corinne, and claims to “run a million dollar company” (that is actually her father’s) but the best part about this 20-something is that she has a nanny… for herself. Nanny Girl decides to show Nick what she said was “the it factor, that guys really like”. If you guessed her “it factor” was her giant heart or ability to captivate a room, you are mistaken. Corinne decides to bring whipped cream to the party, wearing nothing but a trench coat so that Nick could really see who she was deep down…underneath the trench coat…covered in whipped cream.
The fun doesn’t stop with Corinne’s overwhelming appetite for attention, because in true Bachelor form, the other women begin to meticulously plot Corinne’s demise. Although he catches word of Nanny Girl’s odd obsession with her nanny, Nick can’t be bothered too much by it because he has a one-on-one date with Vanessa. I believe I have Vanessa in my Fantasy Bachelor League final four picks, but I’m not entirely sure why? The best part of Nick and Vanessa’s one-on-one date occurred on their anti-gravity flight in which Vanessa vomited into a paper bag. Fast forward 5-ish minutes: make out time ( I hope she flossed).
people and things. 